Monday, March 10, 2008

Gym People

Being a member of the gym, club or whatever you call that sweaty establishment has disgusted me.

Yes, I hate going. Yes, I hate the damned sweating. Yes, I hate that the damned place is never cold in the summer or hot in the winter, but what I hate more, and yes hate is a strong word, but I use it often and loosely, regardless, is the gym people.

Yeah, that is what I call them. They make me sick.

When you go often enough as I have managed as of late, there are the annoying regulars.

One in particular is this lady. I cannot tell her age, but she is most likely 55 or older. I don't think she knows it either, which is OK, but she does absolutely nothing to help herself.

I am an irregular attender of the gym and she is there more often when I show up than not.

I can't tell if she had a bad tan (it is winter, I know), a bad dye job substituting for a tan, or that is her real skin color. She makes it worse by wearing dark blue and black. It makes her look darker. She wears shorts so you can get a good look at her almost slender, bumpy thighs. Her hair is coarse and straw like, not good qualities when your hair is a deeper black than India Ink.

But the worst indescretions occurs in the ladies' locker room. She walks around naked.

Can I go to the sink to wash off the sweat that was pouring from me after 30-40 minutes of doing the arc trainer? Yes, I can, but as soon as I look into the mirror, there she is bent over, naked, with her boobs swinging. I mean those suckers have got to be real, they jiggle like jello while pointing straight down. I guess it was important to be bent over once you get out of the shower and have to crouch in the shower aisle.

Today, I walked in after the arc trainer and there she is, reaching up for something on the wall, naked, now with her boobs, which of course where a different color than the rest of her, sticking straight out and looking like a tiny cone.

I don't know if I can handle being grossed out on every gym day.

Modesty is certainly lacking in the locker room and I feel captive, not being able to do anything about it at all.

Today my concerns where dwarfed by a severely overweight from the waist down woman with a delicate and tiny head. She was shellacking her hair in order to go and languish on the tread mill.



Glamourpuss said...

Ah yes, gyms are hideous - I avoid at all costs.


Inarticulate Fumblings said...

Reading you LOUD AND CLEAR!!

fatwonkkid said...

I never understood walking around naked in the locker room. First of all I skeeve touching anything in the locker room with any part of my flesh. I try to keep some piece of clothing between me and the floor/locker/bench/whatever.

Then there are the folks that would freak out if I showed a picture of a hair ass naked fat man, but they have no problem walking around nekked with their dong swinging around. Seriously, I don't wanna see that, I don't want that accidentally bumping into me, put a fucking towel on.

Gucci Muse said...

Puss, I agree.

IF-yes, your gym sounds so much more interesting.

Fatwon-eww, thank goodness I am not in the men's locker room. And accidental bumping? ech, never thought of that, but then again I do not even get close for that to happen. And I have the same skeevy tendencies. I only used the shower once, but many a towel went on the shower floor.

Laughing through my chardonnay said...

The other day I made the mistake of walking into the locker room after a "water fitness class". -shudder- I was surrounded by over weight elderly woman whom all forgot to bring a towel. I ran out of there so quickly I pulled a muscle. Keep in mind the muscle I pulled was abdominal from dry heeving.

Melissavina said...

I feel ya. Really. I have a hard time going because I feel like after my ten minutes of cardio everyone will judge me if I go over to the wrong machine.


Anyhow, I posted a response to your response on Inarticulate Fumbling's most recent post. I thought you had great things to say.

The Charming Hedonist said...

And this is why I play racquetball instead...

Gucci Muse said...

Chardonnay-gross-I saw a bunch of those the other day, and they travel in packs.

Melissa-yeah, ten minutes of cardio-sometimes three minutes feels like three hours-I swear sometimes the timers on those machines are lying. I am going over to IF's next.

Hi Charming-wow, that is some good exercise, I would do it, but I really despite running, mainly because most sports bras really don't hold me in well......