Calendar Boys

A welcomed break in the icy cold weather these last few days, for the snow has brought warmer temperatures that are not single digits.

The other day I was chatting with Fred. I was sitting in his office waiting for him to do whatever he was into at the moment.

“Muse, you no come to see me the other day,” he inquired.

He was talking about when I was meeting Ricky in the local Starbucks for tea. Ricky did not want Fred to see him because of some business they had going on and Fred wanted to extend something they had business wise.

“Well you were busy with customers,” I told him, not really wanting to get into why I did not go and visit him. “There was a blond haired lady in there.”

“Yes, but I also had the Benny in the back.” Benny was his insurance man. He was a short, squatty sort of fellow.

“Well, it all worked out then,” I said, “I was meeting Ricky for tea anyway.”

Fred did not like to drink anything much that he does not bring from home.

“Sweetheart,” he said as usual, “I have something to show you.”

“You do?”

“Yes,” he replied as he disappeared into the hallway.

I heard him rustling in the back and he returned with something I recognized.

“I already have one of those,” I told him.

“You do?” he said very surprised.

“Yes, Quiet Man gave me one about two years ago.”

“Oh, this is a new one!” he declared while opening the calendar to the page that had Ricky, Quiet Man and himself. They were March 2010. Benny had just delivered it to him.

There they all were in the antique convertibles. All with broad smiles.

“What you think, Muse?”

“Well, I am going to cut out this middle person here, and then I can hang it up on my wall,” I said sarcastically.

“Oh, Muse, “ he said rather flatly and began to talk about why I was there in first place.

“I am going to give this to Ricky’s girlfriend,” I interrupted Fred.

“I have more, you want another,” he said without missing a beat.

“Yeah, give me one. She will love it.”

Ricky’s girlfriend is Sister in Law #2, who is not really a sister in law. She is the girlfriend of one of my brothers.

Up he went and proudly handed me another copy of the two year calendar. The most boring calendar I have ever seen.


“Hey, what are you doing now?” was how I greeted Ricky the next time I spoke with him.

“HEL-OH. HOW are you?” he said in emphasized steps.

“Oh, I am fine, pin up boy,” I teased.

“What are you talking about?” he laughed.

So I told him. They took the photos about a month prior. He forgot about it and had not seen it.

“Don’t worry, you look good in fact.”

“I do?” he sang.

“Yeah. You notice yourself first, then Quiet Man,” I told him.

He said Quiet Man had insisted being in the front car which was red. I told him, well the way the photo was taken, Quiet Man was not the center of attention, something he likes.

So we had a good laugh between us cracking jokes about the calendar.

I really did intend to give a calendar to Sister in law #2, but I decided to scan it in and email it to her.

A few days later, during one of those frigid nights, I was leaving the office late and was warming up the car. It was five degrees out that night. She pulls up next to me. I was talking to Dick, and told him I had to get off the phone.

It was so cold that we did not get out of our cars and spoke through the partially rolled down windows.

“Well, did you get it?”

“Get what?” she asked.

“I sent you a photo of your BF Ricky.”

“YOU DID?” she cried.

“Yes. He is in a calendar, a pin up boy.”

“What month is he?”

“March 2010.”

She was laughing telling me she did not get it.

“Well, its a photo of all three of them, you know, Fred, Quiet Man and Ricky. They are all sitting in cars.”

“Topless?” she joked.

“Yeah!” I said after a split second, “They are sitting in convertibles!”

“Huh?” she said, then she broke out into hysterics.

We laughed, watching our breath create low lying clouds that were slow to dissipate.

The thought of Ricky and Quiet Man as topless calendar boys, well it was different.

I quickly said goodbye to Sister in Law #2, left her with oohing about looking for her calendar boy, topless.