Party a Go-Go, Quiet Man

Fred’s party was supposed to be on December 1. Quiet Man told me he changed it to December 8. Hmm, I thought, he did not tell me.

Maybe, about, I would say, a few days prior to December 1, my cell rings with Fred’s number displaying.

“Hi Fred,” I said as sweetly as I could, because that is how Fred is-you need to be upbeat with him.

“Muse,” I heard Quiet Man say to me, rolling the R in my name like a cigar being rolled between the thighs of some native lady, “it is Quiet Man.”

“Oh hi Quiet Man,” I said just as sweetly.

“Hi. Ah, Muse, we have two questions. Can you help us?”

“Sure Quiet Man, what is it?” I replied wondering why I was getting this weird phone call.

“When is Mass for your mother?”

“It is Friday. November 30,” I told him, wondering why he asked when I had just told him not too long ago.

“Oh. Ok. Ah, Muse, what you think?” he started, ”about our party,” rolling that R again.

“Your party?”

“Ah, eh. Muse, we thinking of doing something. With the cars, Muse,” he started.

“Do you mean what Fred was telling me before?” I told him.

The week prior Fred was telling me about his party. He told me I was the first person invited. I made a big deal about it, joking around, and we reached over the counter in his store and hugged each other, laughing.

Fred wanted to have women in bikinis to sit around the cars. This party was to promote his antique and luxury cars. I started to laugh about the poor girls in December in bikinis having to lay around those dopey cars. I told him, well if you can’t find any girls to do that, don’t worry, just go and hire the girls at the go-go club, I am sure they will oblige.

If you can see Fred talk about girls, it would be funny. He opens up his eyes and then they squint in laughter. When he laughs, he always takes a step backwards and then kind of sways side to side. Usually with his right hand in his pocket and his left free, to the side.

“Oh, sweetheart, you know it, you know it,” he said, mulling around in his mind the thought of those go-go dancers prancing about on the hoods of all his cars, or him.

I hear Fred in the background blabbing at Quiet Man, probably directing him to say something he was not saying.

“Yes, Muse, what you think?”

“About what?”

“Girls,” he said.

Quiet Man says the word girl in a distinct manner. Giurrrl, is the best I can phonetically spell it.

“Quiet Man, are you asking me if you should have a gentleman’s party, with cigars, hard liquor and go –go girls?”

“Ah, yes,” he said, “what you think, Muse?”

OMG. I started laughing. I could not believe they were calling me asking me about semi nude women hired to lay around on cars.

“Well, why not, if that is what you want. I bet you will sell a lot of cars.”

“See Freddy, Muse thinks so,” said Quiet Man, talking to Fred.

Fred then grabs the phone from Quiet Man.

“Muse,” he said, in the sing songy way he says my real name, “You think it’s a good idea to have the girls?”

“If that is what you want. You know I don’t care.”

I paused and continued, “Well what kind of party do you think you are having?”

Fred went on to explain that he printed the invitations and called it a Christmas party.

You have got to be kidding me. A Christmas party?

“Fred, listen, what are you asking me? You want the girls or not? And, if you do, you better change your invitations, because that is not a Christmas party. If you send these men an invitation, and they are going to bring their wives, and it says Christmas Party, what do you think will happen?”

“You are right, Muse, yes,” Fred pondered.

“If you want to sell cars, then just tell the men by word of mouth what kind of party you are throwing, they will come and without the wives. What do you think Mrs. Wrong would think about that? She does not even know Mr. Wrong loves the go-go clubs.”

I hear Fred and Quiet Man chatter on about the girls and the party.

“Change the invitations then if you want the girls. Did you pay a lot for them?” I asked him. I also could not believe he prints up invitations for a party that he is having in less than a week.

“No, no, price does not matter Muse,” he said about the invites, “You see, the business, we want to promote, and the girls, you know Muse,” he says and starts to laugh.

I hear Quiet Man and Fred begin a conversation amongst themselves.

“Freddy, Muse is right, the girls sell the cars.”

“No, no, Quiet Man, we have to think about these things. But the girls, I would like to have the girls,” says Fred.

“If the object of why you are having this party, is to have girls to sell cars, then you can’t invite wives. You can’t have an invitation about a girly party either, so forget about that as well,” I offered.

Quiet Man and Fred went back to their own wacky world where they interact so interestingly. Quiet Man was debating about the proper way to have a party to promote the cars and have girls at the same time. He was viewing it in a business like manner, more like a gentleman’s club-no women allowed. Fred was debating promoting the cars with the girls and having a good time about it, because in his mind, a good time means good profit. Ugh.

Fred gets back on the phone and states, ”OK, Muse, I will take it from here!” and gets off the line.

The day of my Mom’s Memorial Mass, Fred handed me my invitation. It said Christmas Party.

About two days prior to his party, I see Fred in his store about something, I had to run.

He tells me, “Muse, bring a date if you want.”

A date? That is what he said.

The next day I had time to think about what he told me. I went back into the store and asked him if his wife was coming to the party.

“Yes,” he said.

I asked if that is why he told me I could bring a date?

“No, No, Muse,” he said.

“Is your wife going to give me problem about the night you almost got arrested?”

“Oh, No, Muse.” he said.

“If she does, I won’t go then.”

“No, Muse, you come. My wife will not bother you. You will see. I will be there,” he replied.

“Well I don’t know,” I said, thinking it would have been better if it was a go go party.

“Muse, you come; you come, Muse. Don’t worry,” he said.

“OK,” I decided. So the wives where coming. Eww, was what I thought. Mrs. Quiet Man. This was going to be interesting.

Friendship, Quiet Man?

After hanging out with Quiet Man that long night, the next time I saw him was when he pulled up surreptitiously into a parking spot and went into Fred’s store. I was on my way to get some coffee and was further into the parking lot, walking towards the stores.

I don’t know if he saw me, but if he did or did not, he continued on and went straight into Fred’s store. I saw him from behind, walking, because I was looking at something else. So if he saw me, he just continued on. If he did not see me, he continued on. Not any difference.

I had spoken to Quiet Man on the phone about something and told him about my Mother’s Memorial Mass. He thanked me for telling him and mentioned that Fred did not say anything. Weird.

At the end of the Mass, I saw Quiet Man and Fred on line to go past the vault that was in front of the altar. I was very happy to see them out of all the throngs of people that came to say goodbye to my Mother. I embraced and kissed each of them.

Fred and Quiet Man did not attend the reception we had after the Mass. The generosity of friends left us with so much food that we were scrambling to find a home for it all. I had made two platters of cookies. No one wanted them, so I decided to give one to Fred for his children and another for Quiet Man for his office or his family, whichever.

I walked into Fred's store and he came out. I plopped onto the counter the trays. Just then he had to help a customer. Then much to my surprise, Quiet Man came out to see me.

“Hello Muse,” he said with his rolling accented English. My real name has an R in it and his accent is deep, guttural and rolls the R’s in the same manner.

“Hi Quiet Man,” I said. He was leaning over looking and me and I just looked back.

I asked him why they did not come to the reception, and he said because a mutual friend was in the Hospital and they went to go and see him. I was shocked to hear about this friend. I figured Fred wanted to get back to his store and Quiet Man had to oblige. No worries, I told him. As I was questioning him about the condition of this friend, he stopped talking because two women customers where hovering around us.

“Well, whisper it to me,” I encouraged.

He would not, he just kept watching the women and acting frustrated they were in the vicinity.

“Well, we can always go into the back, if I am permitted back there,” I chided. Fred had something in the back of his store, and I was never asked to go back there. He and Quiet Man loved being in the back.

Quiet Man agreed and motioned me around the counter and ushered me into the bleak grayness of the back rooms.

It was nothing at all. Fred had a simple office back there. Quiet Man sits in front of Fred’s desk and motioned me to sit next to him.

We sat there and chatted and laughed at all the stupid things said between us. Fred then joins us. It was weird. I think Fred was tired or something like that.

Eventually Fred talks about the party he went to the night before. He starts to tell me things and Quiet Man interrupts him.

“Now, Freddy,” as he calls Fred,” tell her what happened.”

Then Fred tells me something else and continues on about this boring event.

We go through this scenario about two more times. Then Quiet Man interrupts for a fourth time.

“Freddy, you tell Muse what really happened,” he emphasized.

Fred breaks into a smile.

Quiet Man ends up telling me. Fred met another potential girlfriend. Was I relieved. She was supposedly, and I say supposedly, a Nicole Kidman lookalike, with three kids. Right up Fred’s alley.

Fred looks a little embarrassed and then very confident about this woman. I could not catch exactly what the truth was.

Quiet Man continues on with how this senior citizen who uses a cane to walk, tried to move in on Fred’s conversation with the Nicole K. lookalike. Quiet Man said she would not give it up, trying to get Fred’s attention. I was howling with laughter about Fred’s big attempt to score with this woman while trying to fend off an old washer woman with a cane. I looked at Fred, who was trying not to laugh and was rolling his eyes.

Then Quiet Man became Mr. Future. He proceeds to tell me that, wait Muse, you shall see, that a local young and “handsome” politician has an interest in me. I say “handsome” because he is not my type but the girls fall all over him. He is very good looking but I know this person and I definitely have not any interest in him. He has a girlfriend who he uses, that looks like a bobble head and maybe comes up to his shoulder.

Why thank you Quiet Man, for thinking of me, was what was rolling around in my head.

Quiet Man, then to justify what he just said, goads Fred into a verification process that a code cracker would have a problem unraveling.

“Oh, yes Muse, Quiet Man is right. The Politician is interested in you, he is,” said Fred.

“What? Are you two crazy? I think you both are crazy!”

“No,” said Quiet Man slowly, “ we are not crazy. It’s 100% Muse, you will see.”

Who can argue with these two or with those odds? 100% my ass.

I then find out that the Politician and his bobble head were asking Fred at a previous dinner about one or two months prior, I believe, if I was Fred’s girlfriend.

“WHAT!” I screamed out, “WHY would he say that? What did you tell him?”

“Nothing, Muse, nothing,” replied Quiet Man, ”but it’s true what I am telling you.”

“I did not answer him, Muse,” said Fred as if that would end the matter with the Politician or myself.

If you did not answer him, Fred, you idiot, then you are confirming it, was what my mind was telling me to scream at him. I did not.

I don’t care about the Politician and I did not care why he was asking Fred if I was his girlfriend. I really cannot believe that Fred was asked that. I guess his Leo pride could not pass it up.

Fred then began to call people and do his wheeling dealing, while Quiet Man could not keep very quiet, whispering loudly what Fred should tell these people in New York City, where he was dealing. Fred had them on speaker phone and it was ridiculously funny. How these people did not know others were listening in due to Quiet Man’s loud whispering and Fred’s answering him in non-whispers I do not know. When Fred or Quiet Man did not like what the other person was saying, they motioned a hand job; if they were getting sick of listening to the person, they threw their hands up into the air. When the person offered a lower price, Fred refused, making some weird marks on his lists and then ending the conversation. Quiet Man then would bet on how fast the person would call back and order at full price. He was right many a time.

After a while, Quiet Man and I got up to leave Fred to his own devices with his phone calls. We walked out into the store and they discuss who would get what platter. Quiet Man took the biggest one, while Fred the smaller, but with more variety of cookies. I laughed watching them negotiate the cookies.

As we were walking out, the man who insures Fred’s cars walks in and Quiet Man lags behind to say hello. I said my goodbye’s and went to my car. As I was driving out of the parking lot, I see Quiet Man, bending over into the trunk of his James Bond BMW roadster, carefully placing the large tray of cookies into the car. I stopped to joke around with him. We chatted so much, I was holding up traffic so I pulled into the space next to him. He came to my car window to chat. We joked around and laughed some more.

We then said our goodbyes and I went to meet my two brothers, sister in law and friends who were at a local watering hole to pass away the time and remember my Mother.

The next week, Fred and Quiet Man were to have a holiday party at the garage where all the expensive cars are stored.

You Are Caring, Quiet Man

It was one week to the day, a Monday, that my mother was gone.

I felt a bit antsy or something like that. I was still not in the office officially. I felt like a wanderer, roaming about, listless and lifeless. My mind was racing and swelling with all my thoughts, my re-visits to the week prior and an angst that was causing me to feel displaced. In other words, I was looking for anything that would take my mind away from me and substituted it with something else. Anything else.

I had seen my friend Harry I believe almost each day since the killing. He was getting on my nerves. He was of the opinion I should be proceeding in a manner in which he saw fit. I guess he meant well, but the manner in which he provided his opinion, left me with a profound distaste for his thoughts.

If I was able to recant about Harry, I would. He is one of the oddities of men I seem to collect or interact with in my life. In the days before blogging, or knowing about blogs, I used to share with girlfriends via email about my experiences with Harry. They were so unusual in their existence, that I could not believe myself they would occur.

One particular girlfriend, with whom at the time I spoke with almost on a daily basis, would get the complete and most immediate update from the night before with Harry. We would squeal with shock and laughter, because I was able to laugh about it at least. This friend, unbeknownst to me, had used my experiences to entertain her monthly Bongo group [I can’t remember now the name of that stupid card game they played] about myself and Harry. She slipped one day and told me what a following I had, across the country none the less, about myself and Harry.

Harry and another, Dick, were topics of endless emails and conversations about their oddities over the course of a few years. Alas, I erased those detailed emails and I now I wish I had not. What has not been erased is either Harry or Dick, who despite my efforts to eradicate them from my life in the nicest of ways, pop into it on various occasions.

Both Harry and Dick are Taurus men who I have since learned that with them, even people are their possession. They are prolific collectors of material things they crave and love, which can take over a major part of their lives, at least to an outsider. But to each of them, it’s a normal part of who they are. I believe I have found myself in each of their respective collections.

These are two Herculean, protective Taureans, with big hearts but with the most suffocating control. I believe I also am at fault for continuing on with the lot of them, for I have always had an enormous soft spot for the beautiful (and they are), strong, masculine and protective bulls. It’s a Capricorn-Taurus thing.

I had read once in an Astrology book that with these two signs, that no matter what has occurred between them, they can find common ground to once again continue on harmoniously. It is true. No matter what screaming accusatory fits I have had, or what shut the door and ignore me things they have done [and oh, they are good at ignoring something they find unpleasant and good luck in trying to change their minds on anything at all] we have been able to overcome it, or ignore it, and be in each other’s lives again until the next round.

So back to Quiet Man.

That Monday, I had not spoken to Harry at all and he did not call me. I went to see Fred about something, just to give myself a break from dealing with that busy mind of mine.

Fred had told me Quiet Man was in his office and to go and see him about helping me with my low tire warning. I thought the tires where full, but being I was really looking for an escape, I used him as an excuse to help me.

“Fred, can you call him to make sure he is there?”

“Muse, he is there, just go,” encouraged Fred.

“OK. See you later, Fred.” I said as I was walking out the door.

I drove the two minutes to the office.

I pulled into the parking lot and the front window was blocked off by all the cars they had in the lot. Quiet Man and Fred are into antique and luxury cars. They were parked all over the place.

I sat in my car for a while. My heart was racing. I was nervous as usual. The last time I was here was they day I found out he was married. Ugh. I felt like I had a stone in my stomach.

Why was I here, I thought? I was lonely, sad and looking for human interaction and yes, it was my attraction to him that I know I should not have. I did not care. The urge to be in his company was compelling. I don’t know why. Yes, I think I do.

I have this compulsion, with anything, to satiate myself with whatever it is, a new love interest, a hobby, a project at work. I just do not rest or stop until I there is nothing left to know. The attraction to Quiet Man lies in my mind. I am mentally attracted to him far beyond the physical.

I get out of my car. I start to work the maze made by the oddly parked cars to the front door. The reflection on the glass to his office did not permit me the luxury of seeing what was going on inside while I approached. I hate that.

I was able to see in for a second and I see he is talking to someone sitting in front of him. I did not see him looking out, but I suspect he saw me.

I opened the door, walked in and saw that his door to his office around the corner, was closed. Oh geez, I would have to knock. This was becoming more difficult and unsettling. I wish Fred had called to announce my arrival.

I tip toed to the door as best I could to not clank on the floor. I reached and knocked on the door.

I heard a loud scramble for the door as if it could not be opened fast enough.

“Muse! Muse, how nice to see you!” I heard.

Ricky opened the door, with a smile. He said hello warmly. Quiet Man was up on his feet. He grabbed my hand as usual to kiss it and we embraced. He “ordered” Ricky to vacate his seat and to let me have it. How funny these two are.

I was very stiff with them, feeling out of place. I quickly told Quiet Man why I was there and he told Ricky to go out and check my tires. He jumped up and went out.

Quiet Man was just staring at me. I felt a bit uncomfortable, so I started to do what I do when I feel like that-blabber on.

I told him about the sulfur smell in the car. He knew about it since Fred told him. He leans over as a medical doctor would to tell me bad news.

“Muse, you need your whole exhaust system replaced.”

WHAT? I was upset. This was a brand new vehicle. The dealership never told me that was the problem.

Quiet Man then leans back and smokes his Marlboro, so I am now viewing him in profile while his chair squeaks.

Ricky came in and said all my pressure was fine in my tires.

So, we chatted for a couple of minutes about filters I should have the dealer replace or put in or something like that.

It was about 4:30 pm I would say at this point. I was like, OK, this is about all I can milk on this topic, and I should get up and leave.

I started to say something about leaving, and Quiet Man says to me, “Muse, would you like a drink?”

“A drink?” I said in disbelief, what was he talking about?

“Yes, a drink,” he said calmly.

“What kind of drink?” I asked.

“Wine,” he told me dryly, “Ricky, go and get some bottles of wine.”

Apparently they keep wine in the back. Ricky jumped up to get them.

“OK, Quiet Man, I will have a drink,” I said giggling, happy to have had an invitation to stay.

Ricky came back with about 4-5 bottles of red wine.

“Muse, I am so sorry,” said Quiet Man with sincerity, “I don’t have any glasses.”

“You don’t?” I said, “Well what are we going to drink out of then?”

Quiet Man had me pull out three plastic tumblers that had on them coffee logos. I pulled off the plastic and opened the tops. The lip of the tumbler had threading on it, and yes, we were going to use them.

Ricky was having trouble uncorking the wine. They did not have any corkscrews. Quiet Man told him to get a screw, drill it in, and yes Ricky used a hand drill, and then used pliers to pop out the cork. It worked magnificently.

As the night went on, we finished the wine, and smoked cigars. Yes, I do enjoy a nice smooth cigar, while drinking, with a man only. Quiet Man had to light mine due to my in ability to suck in the air from that particular cigar. He had his lit and hanging out of his mouth, so we exchanged. It reminded me of Dick, who introduced me to the cigar and liquor routine. It was more of foreplay of things to come between us, he is a Taurus you know, and very sexual. But with Quiet Man it was just fun.

Quiet Man and Ricky were telling me of their homelands. I had been there and recanted my travels with my then boyfriend at the time.

We were sitting in Quiet Man’s office. I before him and Ricky to our side. Quiet Man reached behind him and pulled out a map. A freaking map of his country. He had his birthplace marked with a dot. He did. He showed me with pride and told me something about his place of birth. Ricky, who was from a different part of the same country but was not of the same nationality as Quiet Man, showed me his part of the world, lower on the map. I mean who pulls out maps? I was roaring with laughter. They thought I was odd about the map. Like I carry around a map of the United States with my birthplace marked?

Quiet Man showed me a photo of his children. I thought the boy in the photo was his daughter’s boyfriend, but it was not; it was his son. I had seen that photo the last time I was there.

Quiet Man is drinking and drawing on his cigar, while looking at me as he usually does.

“Muse,” he said, in his thick accented drawl, “ you know who is this man?”

He motioned to a black and white photograph of a young man pictured in profile.

“Who, that man?” I asked.

“Yes. That man. You know him?”

I looked at the photo and was trying to think who it was. I badly guessed a few names. I failed.

“That,” he said, “is I.”

I turned to look again. The young man was extraordinarily handsome. Gorgeous I thought to be precise. I would not have guessed it was him, but then I could see it was.

We laughed for some reason. Then he pulled out an identical photo of what was on the wall. He handed me the younger version of himself. I could not help but to continue to gaze at him as a young man of about 21. I was thinking, if I knew him at 21, that boy would not be free of me.

“Muse, you want?” he asked me about his photo.

“Yes, I do!” I told him. He then took my photo and then handed it back to me.

I started to scream with laughter. He had autographed his photo for me. It was very funny.

That photo was mine for sure, with “Quite Man” signed in the bottom right corner in the most beautiful handwriting.

I looked at how he signed his name and examined it. I was once a student of graphology. I was pleased to see the signs of a good, kind and honest person. He was confident and strong, while generous and considerate. He was just Quiet Man.

Ricky was really pounding down tumblers of wine. We had nothing to eat. By about 12:30 am, Quiet Man sends him out for cigarettes and snacks.

Alone, Quiet Man and I continue to talk and banter and laugh. Ricky previously commented about our interactions with each other. It was a smooth and even flow.

“I can’t believe you two,” he would chime in once in a while, “ Look at you.”

“Look at what Ricky? Do you think there is something wrong?” I demanded of him playfully.

“Just look at the both of you,” he would answer, laughing. I knew what he meant. He noticed how Quiet Man and I interacted with each other, as if Ricky was not really there. The interest in conversing one took with the other. Seamlessly and effortlessly.

During our in depth conversations of whatever topic Quiet Man chose, Ricky would keep interrupting him to turn to me to translate what Quiet Man just told me.

I understood Quiet Man, he speaks English. What was it with Ricky? We could not get him to quit it, he just kept offering his United Nations services in translating what Quiet Man said in English to me in Ricky’s accented English. So odd. So funny.

By the time Ricky returned with the smokes and snacks, they eat some. Ricky kept announcing we needed to go. Why, I thought?

Ricky is declaring, “Guys, it's 1:30!”

“So?” was our response.

Eventually Ricky realized we were not budging. So he bids us farewell.

Quiet Man and I spend the next few hours together, talking and laughing. Sometimes the conversation was somber and I just listened. I found him fascinating. He was interesting. He was so attractive.

We continued on until we left our separate ways at 4:30 am.

That night, for the hours I was with him, removed any angst and anxiety I had felt earlier in the day, and he replaced it with the caring company of a friend. He did that for me and I did not realize it until I alone entered my home. For days thereafter, I drew comfort from that night of laughter and friendship. It was something I needed and he cared enough to give to me.

Thank You For Your Love, Quiet Man

The morning after my mother was killed, I was in her house. It was empty, meaningless and it felt so strange. Her phone was constantly ringing and so was my cell phone.

Fred rang my cellular. As I looked down, I was happy to see his name pop onto the screen, but I did not call him back immediately. I wanted to wait until I was done with the calls on the land line.

When I did call him, he was so very nice and kind. The day my mother was killed, I had been at a Wendy’s near Fred’s store. It was about 3-3:30 pm in the afternoon. I had this strange urge to go and eat a baked potato, not because I was hungry but because when I did want one, I would sit in the car, feeling guilty for using the light sour cream that Wendy’s hands out with the Sour Cream and Chive version, and watch who ever would be going by.

I had pulled my car backwards into the space, so I could see everyone. I glanced over at Fred’s shop and could not see in due to the reflection. I was thinking, why was I eating this potato? I was not even hungry and since I was going to go to the gym at around 5:30 to go to a kickboxing class, why was I weighing myself down with starch?

As I was pondering these stupid thoughts, I saw my mother driving through. I watched her drive her way out of the plaza we were in, stop at the light and then turn left. I wondered why she was cutting through the plaza, since if she went there, she would visit the food store and would use another entrance.

I saw her very clearly, her face intent while she drove. The late afternoon sun illuminated her face and hair with a soft and golden glow. I had felt very sad looking at her drive and I don’t know why I had this feeling of her being alone and lonely.

I dismissed those thoughts and said to myself, if she was to go into the food store, I would drive over and surprise her while she was shopping. As I watched her drive out, I thought she was going to the office of someone I told her she should not bother with-and then I thought, well I would see her later either before the gym or after.

I then finished my potato and went back to the office.

After I went to the gym for my 5:30 class, having arrived prior to five to do the circuit and three other leg machines prior to the kickboxing, I headed home. There was this traffic jam. As I approached my intersection, I saw two roads each flared and yellow taped with a Sheriff’s Deputy standing guard. I thought, I hope it’s not my Mom. I needed to backtrack the way I came, via a back route. When I made the turn opposite the second Deputy, I did not see any car crash or vehicles and thought, good, it’s not an accident.

I went to my mother’s house and let myself in, thinking she was arriving soon. I called my brother and asked him if he seen her, he said no, she was probably out helping the one I told her not to go to at their office. I asked him if he knew why those roads where blocked off. No, he said, but he saw the blockade.

I went to my youngest brother’s home. About two hours later, I found out my mother was killed by a car around the same time I was at the gym. I was never to see her again. I saw a mangled and disfigured face of a lady at the hospital. There were towels around her head, which was previously blood soaked. Her skull was caved in like a bowl on her right side and her left eye was bulging. Her nose was cut in two and flattened, as was her swollen face. It was not my Mother. Harry was with me. I lifted the sheets on the gurney and saw feet which were my Mother’s. They had minor cuts on them, but they were hers.

Fred’s voice was solemn and kind. His tone was soft and steady. He was telling me my mother was in his shop talking to him and Quiet Man the day she was killed. They were making plans to go to the party of the son with the famous mother and to another party as well. I did not want to go to the other party and she did. I was not keen on driving her there, telling her she should just to go to the son’s party.

Fred and she were making plans to go to both parties and he along with Quiet Man, welcomed her to go with them and Fred was going to bring his Rolls Royce and pick her up in it to go in style.

Tears where striping my dry cheeks as he was telling me the story. I was happy to know that when I saw her she was happy and not lonely. She must have been so glad to have a “date” with Fred and Quiet Man for those parties and to be in their company. How kind of Fred, I thought. I was so grateful for his kind treatment of my Mother. I was grateful that Quiet Man was there with her and making her feel included and wonderful. Quiet Man really has/had such a kind and gentle manner with my Mother, it was touching. I was glad to know both he and Fred made her feel magnificent.

I got off the phone with Fred and eventually checked my office calls.

I hear the deep and thick accent of Quiet Man, leaving me a message of condolence, with the genuineness of an old and caring friend. I began to cry. It was something about his voice, his sadness that touched me about his sorrow about my Mom.

I called Quiet Man back later in the day. I had stopped for coffee and went and leaned on a light pole in the parking lot of the 7-11. I dialed his number. He answered and as soon as he heard my voice, his changed with a caring emotion.

I thanked him for his call and tried to speak to him without my voice breaking. I tried to quelch the lump in my throat that made my voice quiver and break. As I started to weep, I heard his voice deepen in a comforting gesture towards me.

Speaking to him lessened the sadness for a moment, and brought me some comfort in knowing he is a kind and caring man.

The night after my Mother’s killing, my two brothers, my sister-in-law and I decided to still attend the party of the son with the famous mother since she was so anticipating going herself. Besides, the son’s assistant, called us to assure us we had to go for our Mother.

I was dressed very demurely: a black knit skirt below the knee with a white ribbed turtle neck, no make up and stilleto olive green heels.

As I made my way into the restaurant, I was greeted by so many friends with condolences and embraces. I was klinging on to them, with tears streaming down my face because I was weeping with such grief. I saw Fred, patiently waiting next to me to speak with me. I was unable to free myself to go to him. I had looked up while weeping and I saw Quiet Man leaning against a wall holding a drink. He was looking at me crying, making my face swell and being unable to stop. He looked so pained. I could feel his hurt that I was hurting, his gaze being so genuine and concerned. He watched me for a while and I was embracing the son with the famous mother who asked if he could say a few words about my Mom. Of course, I told him. It would be wonderful.

As I was able to pass through into the restaurant, I did not see Fred. I turned to my right, and I saw Quiet Man walking towards me. I fell into his arms, embracing him for a long time. He held me for as long as I wanted to hold him, and as a protective father would his daughter who needed his strength and understanding.

He took me to the open bar to get a drink. Between he and I there exists some sort of unspoken understanding, a link of acceptance and knowledge of the other. I felt safe and at peace with him.

He stayed with me throughout the night.

We held up a corner of the wall. We chatted and laughed. As people where coming to speak with me, he kindly stepped away, yet remained near. I eventually stopped him from doing that by holding on to him so he would not go.

When Fred found us, he embraced me very lovingly and asked what he could do for me.

“Just be my friend, Fred, just be my friend.”

“Of course, Muse, of course!” he assured me.

Eventually Fred went off by himself leaving Quiet Man and myself.

I had felt this secure place with Quiet Man that night. I was thinking of how short life is and how I wanted him to be in my life. I thought about his marriage. I thought about what had transpired since I had met him.

“Quiet Man,” I began, “can I ask you something?”

“Yes, Muse,” he said in his throaty accent, looking at me.

Quiet Man was hovering over me, holding his drink as usual.
I was thinking how was I going to tell him what I wanted to tell him? How was I going to manage to say to him what I was thinking?

The party was in full swing. People where enjoing the open bar, the catered dinner, all of which I was not interested in at all. I wanted to fill the void I had and reap the comfort of Quiet Man, who was standing next to me.

I can’t remember exactly how I said or what I said, but I asked him if we could be friends, real friends. I wanted him to be in my life and do things with me. I did not want to have a sexual relationship with him, but a deep friendship. I explained to him that it would be important to me and I had other such relationship with men who were my friends, even after their marriages. Nothing inappropriate or lurid. Just the feeling of having the closeness of a man, as close to me as a brother.

I believe he agreed, because I can’t remember what he responded, I think because I can’t remember exactly what I said. I hope I am not remembering what I think I said and what I think he said.

“Muse, you are my friend,” he said looking at me.

I just smiled. He held my hand for a second, and then put his arm around my waist. It felt good.

Fred came around again and invited me to go with he and Quiet Man to the other party. I said yes but would have to tell my brother since we all drove together in one car.

Quiet Man went to go and get the car. Fred and I waited outside. It was cold.

“Fred, can you hold my purse?”

“Of course, Muse,” he said and held my champagne bag.

Quiet Man pulls up the Rolls and we get in.

We go to the other party, which had maybe 15 people. Quiet Man escorts me in and the three of us are the target of immediate gossip since I am with them. What I like about Quiet Man is that he could care less what anyone says.

Quiet Man and I are standing together. I knew more people there than he and they started to come and speak to me, offering condolences.

As Quiet Man was standing next to me, my friend Henry, who is about 65 years old, came over. Henry was so drunk and sweating out his liquor. He told me he was so sorry about my mother.

“Henry, it is so good to see you. I have not seen you in ages!”

“Oh, yes you have Muse.”

“When?” I asked.

That is when Henry went on and on in his drunkenness about the last time he saw me. He was even telling Quiet Man, who apparently did not like hearing it and went and got himself some fried calamari.

Henry was re-living the last time he laid eyes on me and it took me off guard. I never saw him like this before.

It was the black dress. The one I had on the night Quiet Man was mad about Tigo taking away my attention. I never saw Henry that night, but he remembered me in that dress and apparently did not forget.

It made me laugh and I know Quiet Man heard it as well. I don’t know why it was “important” to me that Quiet Man heard Henry fawn all over me and lusting about the black dress.

At the end of the night, Quiet Man and Fred, true to their word, drove me to my Mother’s home, where I was staying. I got out of the car, said my goodbyes and did not turn around to see them leave.

I entered the dark and lonely house, which was previously a home the day before and began to cry. I cried because my mother was killed. I cried because I was all alone and I cried because I was sad that Quiet Man and Fred dropped me off and left me.

What Do You Think of Fred Now, Quiet Man?

The son with the famous mother was holding a cocktail party. My mother was exited to go and I was not really exited to go.

Nevertheless, we went.

My mother wanted to arrive as early as possible. So I tried to get ready early. My Mom was ready before I was and waited patiently for me to drive her.

I was wearing a basic black cocktail dress with pair of shoes I had worn before. I did not have time to bronze my now pale legs or decollate, but I figured the black on white look was good enough.

I had a wrap for the chilly October night to cover my plunging neckline and bare arms. As I was driving, I thought why did I not slather on my new high gloss fuchsia lip gloss that looked liked hot pink vinyl in the store? Probably because I had on electric blue liquid eyeliner that had sparkles in it and it did strike me that I should cool it on the lips. Fortunately, the lip gloss, if not globbed on, was quite subdued. The liquid eyeliner had gone on in a perfectly thin line that did not look anywhere near Moulin Rouge.

As I parked the car, I had to hang on to the damned open toe black satin pumps because my heel kept coming out of the shoe. I have some damned narrow heels which really irk me.

My Mom was behind me, smiling. She really enjoyed these get togethers.

We entered and being so early, we joined a handful of people.

The wait staff had taken our drink orders. My Mother, a fan of the strawberry daiquiri, but being unable to find one made as good as those from her youth, was told daiquiris were unavailable. So we both ordered merlot.

The merlot was good, at least to my uneducated palate. I just go by does it taste good or not? That is my guide.

As what I call the snacks came by to temper the effect of the merlot, I decided to get a tiny plate and go to the table to bigger and better snacks to pile on crudités. I had decided to not eat anything off of that table that would necessitate a trip to the gym.

I went and found one of those tables you need to stand at and watched my Mom talk her little heart away to all she knew. I did not see Quiet Man or Fred, so I chomped away in peace.

A couple joined me as the room began to swell with people. These two were of the type that did not meet a snack they did not like. They were nice enough, but hard to engage in conversation other than the usual droll: “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” “How do you know the son with the famous mother?” for when they provided answers to these type of questions, they would say no more, except stand there and think of more of the same mundane inquiries that never led the conversation to any other level.

I had on my wrap due to it being chilly in the room. I was thinking why did I have on this thing, which had large pom poms all over its edges. They bounced off of each other every time I raised the merlot to my lips or snatched a snack from the wait staff. The wrap was not doing a good job either of staying in place to cover my decollate.

I could feel the woman at my table thinking what a slut or something to that effect, especially after she asked me what I did for a living-I am a professional, what are you? I vastly prefer the more feminine garb that the mandatory suit.

I was thinking she was a freaking nerdy, pseudo-preppy, middle aged woman who did not know how to dress for a cocktail party. If that husband of hers took a look, I am sure she had it in for him later on that night.

As this was all occurring, I glanced around the room. I had finished snacking by then, just wishing those two would leave my table. They did not. I then spotted Quiet Man and Fred across the room. They were alone and did not bring Ricky or Berman, which I was hoping they would. Made them seem sort of stag-ish, in a way.

Quiet Man towered above the people around him. At first he looked lost, then engaged, then disinterested. Fred was off blasting some poor soul with his over abundance of enthusiasm.

I think they saw me. I saw them. At this point, the couple at my table had found some semblance of how to carry on a conversation, when I just wanted them to shut up. I answered them, while looking around the room, thinking how am I going to get away from them without being too rude? Why I felt this way I don’t know. I usually would just up and leave.

As I made my way through the crowd, I was stopped by the best friend of the son with the famous mother. Having Quiet Man on my mind, I literally did not even see him. He had a broad smile as he grabbed my arm to say hello.

I met this best friend at an earlier event that Fred and Quiet Man did not attend. He was quite engaged to have met me, but he never called me. I did not care either since I cannot stomach a man who drones on and on about their child. I know this sounds terrible, but since I do not have a child, it’s why I can’t date men in those situations.

I made my way back to the entrance. There was only one bathroom I found out and it did not have stalls. So I had to wait.

I made small talk with a gentleman who was standing by himself. I did not want to encourage him, though he was nice enough.

Those I knew congregated at the entrance. As I was talking to the wife of a judge, Quiet Man passes me on his way for a smoke. He is a chimney.

He did not greet me, nor I him. I just kept talking.

As I re-entered the room, Fred greeted me warmly as usual. I was holding my wrap on my arm.

“Hello, Muse!”

His usual greeting.

“Oh, hello Fred!”

My usual reply.

Fred was smiling and laughing. I had to hear about all the local muckety mucks he had already talked to.

Quiet Man came up next to me. I believe I embraced him hello as I did Fred.

Quiet Man steps back from me.

“Muse, that dress,” he said as he stared at me, “it is so becoming on you.”

He stared at my satin high heels with the bejeweled adornment in the middle of the shoe.

“Yes, Muse, you look wonderful in that dress,” piped in Fred.

“Can I get you a drink, Muse?” asked Quiet Man.

“No, I don’t need one, Quiet Man,” I replied.

“Fred?” inquired Quiet Man.

What was this, Quiet Man joined the wait staff?

“Yes, Quiet Man, I will take one more,” ordered Fred.

I think Fred was belting down some Johnny Walker Black on the rocks and he was not eating any snacks.

Quiet Man returned with a new drink for Fred, who handed him his glass with half of his previous concoction.

Fred was not making much talk, except for who he was going to talk to next.

Quiet Man was busying himself getting drinks for Fred and taking glances of me in that dress.

Then the son with the famous mother was making a speech. Fred and I stood together with Quiet Man at my side. I saw my Mother opposite me in the encircled crowd, applauding and smiling. She looked so young and cute I thought.

The room quieted down while the speech was made. Fred was listening intently with his right hand in his pocket and the drink in his left. I had the wrap in my hands. Quiet Man had his drink, complete with a tiny straw, in his right hand, while his left was pocketed.

When the boring speech was over, we had to listen to a second one, and then that was it, thank goodness.

The son with the famous mother had hired a professional photographer to go around and snap photos of the crowd. Fred called him over to take photos of he and I. I hate having my photo taken. Fred asked the photographer for his card. Then we took another photo with me in between Fred and Quiet Man.

At that time, another man was trying to get my attention, and Quiet Man had gone to fetch more drinks for the luscious Fred.

The man was so obvious. He was old as well. I was disinterested, but he was on it, trying to talk to me.

By that time, Fred had to go to another party, which he had told me about before. He was telling Quiet Man that he wanted to get there, two towns over, by 8 pm. Quiet Man was shooting for 8:30, but Fred was not having it at all.

Fred then asked me if I would go with them.

“Muse, you want to join us?” he inquired.

“Well, yes, Fred,” I answered wondering why I was invited because when he first told me about it, he did not ask me if I would join him.

“I have my mother, but maybe she can get a ride home,” I pondered.

“Oh, wonderful, Muse,” said Fred.

My mother had made her way to where I was with Fred. And the older man who was bending at the waist to see if I was talking to anyone, made his move as I finished talking to Fred, who was behind me at this point.

I could not get a word in edgewise with this fool. I decided to introduce my mother to him because she could talk to him non stop. He gave me his business card and asked for mine, which I did not have with me. He was an attorney and a muckety muck from the other side of the county.

Quiet Man returned and Fred was ready to go. We all walked out with my Mom. Fred said he would follow me when I dropped my Mom off at home and then I would ride with he and Quiet Man.

Quiet Man had a bunch of magnetic bumper stickers in his hand on his way out the door. He was going to put them on Fred’s LEXUS SUV, that monstrosity of a vehicle. Fred was driving and he really did, as previously, remind me of Plankton on Sponge Bob. The similarities of personality in that regard are remarkable.

As we were driving, I told my Mother that I was going with Fred and Quiet Man to the party of another. She was so exited and thought she was going. I told her could I please for once, go somewhere without her? I regretted it when I said it, but since she had no idea about Quiet Man and I, and I was surprised they invited me to join them, I just could not have my Mom with me.

As I pulled into her driveway, I guessed she did not have her key to her house. I offered to give her mine, but she refused. She was standing in front of her garage, smiling and waving good bye to me as I got myself into Fred’s SUV. I felt very guilty. I also knew she was going to break into her own house or something in her cocktail outfit because she refused to take my key. She did not want to hold us up. Quiet Man jumped into the back seat. Fred was driving.

Quiet Man told me later that my Mom, to him, looked as if she was thinking, please take care of my girl. He told me this after my mother was killed. I thought at the time, and told them, look- she looks as if she is sending me off to the prom or something the way she is standing there, waving to us.

So, Fred is driving.

He maneuvered the SUV as Plankton would drive a tank to take out Mr. Crabs. I was feeling guilty about my Mom, but Fred’s wide swings on curvy roads darted my attention to grabbing the “oh shit” bar above me.

Fred was worried that Berman was waiting for so long.

Berman? Yes Berman. He was meeting them.

So we arrive. Fred parks without any mishaps. We go in and find Berman. We go to where the party WAS because it was over with and it looked like it was not that exiting.

So there were the four of us: Fred, Quiet Man, Berman and myself.

I decided to introduce Fred to an attorney I know because Fred wants to sue, sue, sue someone who sued him and lost.

So this attorney had his eyebrow raised looking at me with Fred and then at Berman and Quiet Man who where on the other end of the room by the door. I was looking at this attorney who was sitting with a bland and plain looking female who was not his wife. He was pretty shocked to see me.

When Fred finally stopped talking the attorney not with his wife’s ear off, Quiet Man decides that we will go into the pub restaurant. The boring event was in the pub’s party room around back.

I was not thrilled to be sitting in that place in a cocktail dress.

We all walked in and the raunchy waitress at the bar, looked up at us as did every other wheat-hawker holding up the bar.

So we sit down in what they term their dining room. It had those chairs you see in cheesy fish joints, you know the kind: made of wood, low curved back with a handle hole in it and held in by spokes.

Fred decides that we can’t sit in the first of the identical tables by the glass over looking that oh so fabulous parking lot abutted by the road. We had to sit in the third of such tables. It made him quite satisfied.

I was sitting next to Fred, Berman was across from me and Quiet Man across from Fred.

We ordered drinks. They came and we started to drink them.
Fred was again drinking his Johnny Walker Black on the rocks. I can’t remember what I ordered. Quiet Man had some kind of brandy I think. Berman had a soda.

So there I was, sitting with three men. Fred had on quite some jewelry on him that night. He showed me his bracelet that looked like something Wilma Flintstone would wear. The thing was huge and covered with diamonds.

“Look, Muse,” pointed Fred, “This is 23 carat gold. Rose gold. And it’s covered in like a gazillion diamonds,” well I made up the gazillion part because I can’t remember what he said.

I never saw rose gold or 23 karat gold before, but it did have a very dark coppery rose color. It was very gaudy.

As Fred was showing off his man jewelry, the bracelet catapulted off of his wrist and smacked Quiet Man on his face.

We then had to have a conversation about Quiet Man’s friend who is the best jeweler in the next city. I mean, Quiet Man, is there any one you don’t know?

Fred was very receptive to Quiet Man’s offer to have the bracelet fixed. These two interact so weirdly with each other.

“Oh, thank you Quiet Man,” purred Fred.

“Yes, my friend will fix,” said Quiet Man in that strong accent he sports.

Berman was sitting quietly to himself sipping his soda. He made mention of that he was definitely going to stop by my office to see me. Ok, Berman whatever floats your boat was what I thought of that.

As Fred was sucking down his second hard liquor drink, Quiet Man, was egging him on.

“Well, tell her,” he said, ”tell her.”

I was like WTF are they talking about?

“Oh, no, no Quiet Man, I can’t!” replied Fred.

“Can’t tell me what?” I demanded.

I had my wrap half on and half off. I was fiddling with the pom poms and the stupid things started to shred! I decided to shove it behind myself.

Fred was acting really weird and so was Quiet Man, but he really was pushing Fred.

“Tell her what is in your heart,” pushed Quiet Man.

What on earth are they talking about as if I was not really there?

Here was Fred and Quiet Man, two married men, talking like two high school boys.

What was Fred going to tell me? What?

Finally, Fred got up the courage and blurted it out: “Muse, I love you.” He did not even look at me, but stared into his Johnny Walker Black.

OMG!

“I told you Fred liked you,” beamed Quiet Man, ”and you did not believe me!”

Fred was not looking at me, but Quiet Man was.

You love me, I thought? What the hell was this all about?

Ever since I met Fred, all he did was talk about his arranged marriage, his love of blondes, going out with a Victoria Secret model and all that nonsense. Ever since I met Fred, all he did was try and egg me on, encourage me about Quiet Man, and even told me Quiet Man liked me.

“Muse,” said Quiet Man, interrupting my shock and racing thoughts of the ridiculousness of what I just thought I heard, “Fred just told you what was in his heart.”

OK, what is it with these two?

I began to laugh. Really laugh. I was trying to divert Fred’s attention or affection.

“Oh, Fred,” was all I could say.

“No, Muse,” he said, ”It’s true.”

“Oh, Fred it is NOT TRUE! What are you thinking, you are not thinking, Fred!” I said emphatically.

“It’s what is in my heart, Muse. I don’t lie,” he said kinda meekly.

I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. What was wrong with Fred? I did not like him, and he should know that. He should know I liked Quiet Man, that damned married man.

If this was indeed true, which I believed it was not, what have they been saying to each other about me all this time I have known them?

I did not see or talk to Fred or Quiet Man most of the summer. I kept to myself until early September when the rounds of get togethers began. Fred always seemed so disinterested in me, and whenever we chatted in his store, most of the conversation revolved around Fred and his women, his extra marital on goings.

Quiet Man began to chide me for not taking Fred seriously. How can you Muse, not believe him, he told you what is in his heart!

Quiet Man, who the hell do you think you are-Oprah?

I could not believe what I was witnessing at this pub. I looked at Berman who was hovering over his soda with a big toothy dopey smile, also looking in disbelief and giggling about Fred looking into his Johnny Walker black having just told us all what was in his heart.

After a while, Quiet Man announced that he had to go.

“Where are you going, Quiet Man?” I asked. I was annoyed that this was ending up to be such a lousy night. I was still in shock over Fred and kind of grossed out.

“I have to go and collect the money.”

“Money?” I said, “What money do you have to collect? It’s like 10 pm right now.”

“At the club,” he said slowly and calmly.

“What club are you talking about?”

“The go-go club.”

Quiet Man and Fred call strip clubs go-go clubs. As far as I knew, Fred was unable to buy the strip club in the next city. As far as I knew, he does not own it.

“Really? Which one, one in XYZ State?”

“No, in the next city.”

“Oh yes Muse, I bought sixty percent that go-go club for $3.5 Million dollars. And do you know Mr. Wrong bought ten percent of that with me?” said Fred.

Mr. Wrong was a moronic idiot who does nothing all day long and has an overabundance of money, looks like he lives in the ‘70s and is known to love a lap dance, besides being married to Mrs. Wrong who is out to lunch as far as her husband is concerned.

“You and Mr. Wrong own a strip club, Fred?”

“Yes.”

“OK, you know what? I don’t believe you. I want you to prove you own this club. I want to see with my own eyes Quiet Man picking up the night’s receipts. With my own eyes,” I said.

“You do?” inquired Quiet Man with a raised eyebrow.

“I do,” I said emphatically looking Quiet Man in the eye.

“Let’s go!” said Quiet Man, rising from his pub chair.

And that is how we left the pub on our way to the strip club.

Berman was having some kind of issue going to a strip club. He had to follow us to Fred’s store so he could drop off his car. I think Berman was never in a strip club.

On the way to Fred’s store, Quiet Man was sitting again behind me. We had to stop at a gas station convenience store so Quiet Man could get snacks because no one ordered anything to eat with all the drinking going on at the pub.

Quiet Man had to re-supply himself with cigarettes and picked up a bag of Milano cookies. He shared them with Fred. Since Quiet Man was sitting behind me, I heard every crunch of his jaw on those Milanos.

Berman jumps into the back seat with Quiet Man and we headed to the strip club Fred supposedly bought. On the way there, I heard Quiet Man making some really weird and disgusting sounding noises. I finally turned around and asked him, “Quiet Man, what is that noise?”

“It’s me,” he said.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked him, “because whatever it is, it’s like right in my ear.”

He began to laugh and I forgot what he said. It sounded like he was digging the Milano remains out from between his jaw and cheek. Quite gross.

As we pulled into the parking lot of the strip club, Quiet Man had to tell Fred to flash his lights so the door attendants would remove the plastic cones from the VIP parking space. Hmm, I thought, maybe he did buy the place, but why would Fred not know to flash the lights?

We all pile out of the Lexus and Quiet Man helped me jump out of the damned thing because we had experience earlier in the night with me almost falling flat on my face.

We entered into this place which was mostly black. There were couple of young men who where apparently bouncers and a chunky girl who collected a cover charge who had a mop of bright, coppery red hair. Fred was taking out his wallet and Quiet Man marshaled us through after telling those people we were with him. Odd, I thought for owners.

The place was pretty much empty.

The décor was mostly black and grey and it sort of looked like a cocktail room or jazz room, except for the pole at the end of a tiny runway stage in the middle of the room. The bar was on the left as you entered. Over to the right, there was this dais sort of section that had chairs in a row and the facing wall to those chairs where back lit.

We sat down around a tiny round table where you put your drinks.

Berman had to go potty and Fred pointed him to the bathrooms. Quiet Man I think was wandering around and then came to join us. We all sat in a horseshoe pattern. Fred on one end, then I then Berman then Quiet Man. I was basically facing Quiet Man.

We got our drinks and mine tasted watery. I had my wrap on and did not let it fall once. The pom poms one by one started to fall out. I was busily taking their remains and shoving them into my tiny bag I had for the night.

I was getting a little annoyed. Why where we sitting in this place if Quiet Man was to get money? Why was Fred pulling out his money rolls to pay for drinks? Why, Muse, you still have to pay even if you are an owner, it’s not good not to, was his pathetic explanation. He kept pounding the Johnny Walker Blacks.

I had glanced up at the dais and was so surprised. The girls who worked there all where naked with nothing but some g-strings or they had on a sheath over the g-strings. Not one was pretty, most were very plain. I happened to glance over when I saw a girl on girl lap dance, and both girls worked at the club.

“Fred, Fred,” I prodded him, “Look at that!”

Fred did not want to look or did not care. Quiet Man was encouraging Fred about his damned assed heart.

“Muse, I love you, I want to be with you,” he said and a bunch more graphic remarks I don’t want to repeat. I looked at Berman while Fred was yanking on me. Good Lord, he was sloppy drunk!

I tried to distract Fred by bringing up his wife, to which he readily pooh-poohed me about. For about I would say a good twenty minutes I was being groped and pulled by Fred. I looked to Berman for help, but he was so useless. I don’t think he wanted to stand up to Fred.

Quiet Man was watching this and reminding me that I did not believe him about Fred liking me, I did not believe what Fred had in his heart and had opened up to me. Uh, Quiet Man, Fred is married like you are, don’t you know?

Fred began to calm down, telling me if I did not want him or something like that, he would leave me alone.

“Muse, why are you covering yourself up?” he asked.

“I am freaking cold Fred,” I said and touched Quiet Man’s hand as proof of having cold fingers.

Berman pipes in something about religion because I had used my religion and told him I did not want to go to hell for what he was proposing, thinking this logic would breathe some sense into him. Berman and Fred are the same religion and he says that as long as you don’t hurt someone in their religion, it is all OK.

“Really, Berman, is that so?” I asked him sarcastically.

“Yes Muse, it’s true; it’s our belief,” he answered most solemnly.

“Well Fred, I guess you have not realized that you will be hurting Mrs. Fred, or have you discounted that?” I inquired of him.

Fred’s answer was that his marriage with Mrs. Fred, as he has always said, is an arranged marriage. Berman who is good
friends with Mrs. Fred, really could not argue with the logic that Fred was ignoring.

Quiet Man, who had tried to get into his seat, fell flat on his bum while holding his drink, laughing that the seat rolled out from under him.

One of the working girls came over to Quiet Man and sat on the arm of his chair or was bent over him. She introduced herself to me and held out her hand. I felt bad, but I would not touch her hand, not knowing where it had been.

Quiet Man was watching the groping of Fred. He decides to ask me the following:

“Muse, you like girls?” he said with that thick rolling accent of his.

“What?” I said being so shocked.

“You like girls?”

“No, I don’t”

“You don’t like girls?” he continued.

“No I don’t!” I told him, “What, you like boys?”

He was disgusted I asked him that, and told him, well don’t ask me that either. So he didn’t.

The next thing was the girl that was hovering over Quiet Man previously was now behind Berman asking him if he wanted a lap dance. Quiet Man put her up to it and was tattle taling on Berman that he never, ever had a lap dance before.

Poor Berman. His eyes were becoming all bulgy with embarrassment.

“Oh, Berman, just go with her!” I told him, partly for his religious justification for cheating comment he used earlier.

“Go! Go, with her Berman!” I continued.

“Berman, go with the girl!” shouted Fred in some sort of weird camaraderie.

After much goading, Berman went and took his scared self up to the dais. He picked the most remote part of the thing so we could barely see him in the shadows.

We were all watching Berman in shadow. We were hysterical laughing.

“He does not know what to do!” gasped Fred.

“She does!” said Quiet Man.

“Look, he is having a conversation with her and she is now sitting down next to him!” I pointed out.

Finally the girl rips off her sheath and just let Berman have it, and he was melting out of that chair like micro waved butter.

Berman comes back, a little rustled and red faced. He sat back down to where he was sitting and looked a little shaken up and with a nervous laugh.

“Oh, Berman!” I said and began to laugh.

Poor Berman. He was like a little child in the company of Fred and Quiet Man.

So Fred was still pounding his drink. He was now at this point, holding on to me and pulling so his chair would roll closer to mine. I just took his hands off of me and tried to change the subject. He was now acting depressed, almost crying into his drink, pining away that if I did not want him, he would be okay with it.

“Berman, can you believe Fred? He is so drunk!”

“Yes, Muse,” replied Berman, still with the lap dance glow on his face.

Fred grabs me and says,” LOOK Muse, look at Quiet Man!”

Quiet Man was up where Fred just was holding a working girl’s arms. She had on a sheath. They were pretty close together and it looked like he was going to kiss her. I could not believe it, but that is all he did and then started to return to our table.

“Fred, what a cheater!” I told Fred.

“Muse, not Quiet Man! I told you, he never, never, never has been unfaithful to his wife. Never!”

“Are you kidding me? Do you think I am stupid, Fred?”

“Muse, Quiet Man has never touched another woman!”

“You are blind then Fred. He was just hanging on to the girl!”

Quiet Man returns to our company. I was just looking at him and he was just looking at me.

After a while, another girl comes by and her sheath was very short like a mini-skirt. She was standing next to Quiet Man and Quiet Man introduced her or something like that and tells me she is from the same country he is or a neighboring one. Like I care. She was very sweet for a stripper I thought.

She just planted herself there. I was thinking, don’t you have to go and give a lap dance? The club was very empty, just one lap dance being given at that point. Maybe because its Thursday night?

As my mind was wandering about lap dance activity, I looked over at Quiet Man and he had his right hand very high up on that girl’s bare thigh. I was truly amazed.

“Fred,” I whispered.

“Oh Muse, “ he said thinking I was giving in, ”yes, Muse?”

“Look at Quiet Man, Fred. And you tell me he is not a cheater?”

Fred looked at Quite Man holding on to that girl’s leg like it was a tree trunk. That is all he was doing, nothing else.

I was having a sort of debate with Fred about Quiet Man.

“You mean to tell me that if Mrs. Quiet Man saw what he husband was doing tonight, she would not have a problem with it?”

“No,” said Fred, “She never questions Quiet Man. Quiet Man never cheats on her.”

“And you call holding that other woman like he was going to devour her or holding on the a stripper thigh like that would not call Quiet Man into question in her eyes?” I asked.

“No.”

Well Mrs. Quiet Man is stupider than I thought and Quiet Man was totally different than I had imagined. I then was thinking, you know, Quiet Man is not going to collect any money here. He is just a plain old regular. A regular. There was not any other explanation. None.

As Fred and I were huddled talking about the cheater Quiet Man, the girl he was holding came over and asked Fred if he wanted a lap dance.

Fred was taken aback, and flustered. He was refusing her because of me.

“Fred, go, go with her, Fred,”

“No, I can’t, Muse!”

“Oh yes you can, Fred!”

And after a little bit more encouragement Fred decides to go.

“You will not mind, Muse?”

“No, of course not, don’t be silly, I won’t mind at all.”

I thought it MAY, just MAY, cool him down at bit, being all aroused since he told me what was in his heart.

Fred rises from his seat, straightens out his jacket and so stoically, follows the girl up to the dais.

Quiet Man came and sat in Fred’s chair.

“Oh, hello Quiet Man,” I told him, “Don’t you EVER tell me how much you love your wife!”

He looked at me right in the eyes.

“You are a cheater, Quiet Man!” I accused him.

“I have not cheated on my wife, I love my wife.”

“Really Quiet Man? You love her so much you are groping these girls here? That is how much you love your wife? You love her that you never mentioned to me you where married until I got it out of you? You love her so much that you had no problem chasing me for all those months?” I argued with him.

“Muse,” he said and then he started to laugh a little.

He was sitting sideways in the chair, facing me. He had his legs loosely crossed.

My wrap was a bit open at that point and he reached over to pull it closed. I let him, I don’t know why.

I was thinking what am I doing here arguing with Quiet Man about his wife in a strip club? What?

He may have gone into the wife trusts him explanation. I can’t remember. I just remember him looking at me and myself thinking, as I was arguing with him, how attractive I found him.

I had to shut those thoughts out of my mind.

We continued to chat and I told him I knew he liked me. He just looked at me and looked at me. How weird.

Fred had returned from his lap dance, quite calmed down.

Then he and Quiet Man decided it was time to go, the club was going to close soon.

Quiet Man was not returning back with us. I was upset by this because Fred was pretty drunk I thought but was walking fine. Fred and Berman went out ahead and Quiet Man was helping up out of the chair and towards the door. He asked a young man if he would give him a ride home. The boy said yes. I was thinking, they seemed so familiar this young boy and Quiet Man.

“Quiet Man, you are not coming back with us?”

“No, I am going home. It’s too late to do all that driving, since I live north of here.”

“Quiet Man, I want you to drive, Fred can’t drive!”

“He is OK, Muse, really he is,” as he walked me around the Lexus, “You will be OK.”

He put me into the car and I was nervous about Fred. And with reason.

He was all over the freaking road and highway. He was driving like 90 mph on the highway. I looked at Berman in the back seat. He seemed very calm.

“Fred, do you want to stop at a diner?”

“No, Muse.”

“You don’t?” I asked trying to get him to stop driving.

“No.”

“Aren’t you hungry Fred?”

“No,” he said continuing to drive erratically.

“Berman, aren’t you hungry?” I said to him while winking.

“No.”

“Are you SURE Berman you don’t want to go to the diner?” I said very slowly.

“Oh, I will go” he said, catching on, ”Yes, Muse, I want to go to the diner.”

“Fred, Berman wants to go to the diner, ”I said calmly.

It did not convince Fred to stop. He kept assuring me everything was fine.

Miraculously we make it back to Fred’s store. Berman hops out to his car. Fred anticipates bringing me home. It was about 1:30 am. I felt a little better that I made it back in one piece. Fred’s driving was getting a little better.

He decides to go through town to get to my house. We were chatting as he was driving down Main Street. He took the corner by the diner quiet wide. That was when I first saw the lights. He never saw them.

“FRED! You need to Stop!” I told him.

“What Muse?”

“STOP THE CAR, PULL OVER!”

“What, what?” he said as the car slowed.

“Fred, you need to PULL OVER ONTO THE SHOULDER and stop the damned car!”

That was when he first noticed the red and white lights of the Sheriff’s car. Damn him, was what I thought. He pulled over and it took him a while to put the car to a stop and then he lifted his foot from the brake and the Lexus started to lunge forward. Great.

“Fred, you need to put the damned car in park,” I told him as calmly as I could. By this time the young, chubby and bald Deputy had his flashlight that held like twenty C-batteries in it, shining on Fred.

Fred was beginning to have a melt down. He was scared. I was like, WTF.

Fred rolls his window down. The Deputy asks him if he was drinking that night. Fred said yes. What an idiot. The Deputy asks him how many drinks he had and he says two. Even more of an idiot. The Deputy starts screaming at him to get out of the car. Fred was having trouble undoing his seat belt and getting out of the high Lexus.

The Deputy pulls him screaming to the back of the car, so the special lights on the car where shining in his face. By this time, there are two more Sheriff’s deputies and a Town Officer surrounding the Lexus.

I hear the Deputy screaming at him and then he asks him to walk the line. He then asked Fred to do the alphabet starting from F. He then asked him to do it backwards. I was like OMG, I could not do it backwards sober. I felt like yelling out to Fred, F G H I J K etc. I was sitting, still seat belted in the front seat wondering what Fred blew, since I saw the Deputy throw down on the street a white plastic tube. I was then making plans on how to bail out Fred, take care of the Lexus and get a ride home. I was so close, about one mile.

I began to furiously call Quiet Man. Damn him, he was not answering his phone. On about the 15th call I left him an urgent message.

Fred gets back into the Lexus. His wife then called. I was like, OMG, what next? Fred is talking to her and telling her basically the truth, except omitting I am with him. He tells her his location which is in the total opposite direction of how he needs to get home. He gets her off the phone and is mad she called. The third or fourth time she called, as he was hanging up on her, he said something about he did not care what she was saying and I saw his phone was still on. She made arrangements with Berman, who she got on the cell, to come and get Fred, since his Lexus was being towed.

I was waiting for the cuffs to come out on Fred. The Deputy said he blew twice the legal limit. I decided to get out of the car since the Deputy was having it towed. I almost tripped because the Lexus was so high up and my skirt was not allowing me a wide leg position to get the hell out.

The Deputy then begins to question me about if I was drinking and where we were that night. I answered him and told him he better back off, I was a passenger and like Fred, name dropped.

He was yelling at me asking me if I lived with Fred. No. Was I Fred’s girlfriend? No. Was he driving me home? Yes. Why did I get into the car with him? Because I needed a ride home.

Fred got off with a warning and a ticket for crossing the white line and having a tail light out. NO JAIL, NO DWI charges. AMAZING.

The Deputy wanted to call a cab for us and I declined. I told him we were going to walk to the diner. We did. Poor Fred, a little bit more sober was denying he drank that much. Yes, Fred you did, I told him. Fred was upset the Deputy asked me such personal questions. I told him who cares because he did not drag your ass to jail. I was blaming Quiet Man all the way to the diner for not picking up his phone and not driving us back home.

We decided to wait outside the diner to see if Berman would show up. The same damned Deputy was driving like a mad man towards us, drives over the corner sidewalk, across the street and slams the brakes on his vehicle in front of Fred. OMG, he was coming to get him. The bald Deputy jumps out of his car and says to Fred, You are not the one causing a ruckus in the diner are you? NO, sir, said Fred.

“Fred, we are going into the diner to wait for Berman. Do you want to get arrested, get OFF THE STREET!” I said as I climbed up the stairs to the diner.

We sat there drinking decaf coffee and iced tea. Berman shows up and we fill him in on what happened. He told us he was also stopped by the same cop that stopped him earlier that day for no registration on his Acura. What is it with these two?

Fred is reviewing the night and how he wants to crush the deputy.

“Fred, give it up. Do you realize that he could have put you in jail? He did you a favor, for WHATEVER REASON," I told him. Finally Berman and I convinced his drunk assed self that he was lucky he did not go to jail.

Fred started to carry on as we got into Berman’s car to my house about how he was unable to drive me home, the bummer of his evening.

Berman pulled into my driveway and Fred gets out of the back seat and I gave him an embrace and kiss on the cheek and thanked him for the evening.

I Am So Sad, Quiet Man

I am going to post more of what has occurred with Quiet Man because it will be taking my mind off of, at least for a little bit, my great sadness and oncoming depression due to my mother being killed by a car the first week in November.

It will take my mind off of the loneliness that is encompassing me and which I am tiring of fighting off at this point.

It may make me stronger to be positive for the work I have ahead of me, the realization that my life will be taking a profound turn, which at now seems for the worse.

It will stop the onslaught of tears if I pre-occupy myself with trivialities, and writing about Quiet Man is quite trivial.

You are so Determined, Quiet Man

OK. I don't get it, I just don't.

I had a post written about this nonsense, but it was just TOO LONG, so I am going to post some highlights of ridiculousness that is now a determined part of my life, known as QUIET MAN.

I went to a party and who walks in? Fred, Quiet Man and two other friends.

Fred ends up calling me over and introduces me to his buddy, Berman. I was not interested in Berman the fabric importer, who apparently is always in Kuwait and "Muse, you would never know you were in Kuwait if you went to the mall there because you would think you are in the U.S.A. !" Thanks Berman for the information.

Quiet Man was staring at me through the bodies in the crowd. When I was talking to Berman, Quiet Man decides to squish by, stares at me and says hello to me. I replied hello, snottily, while fighting back the damned ass attraction that exists between he and I by steadfastly keeping the conversation with Berman flowing.

After I met the third boy in the group, Ricky, who was also trying to entertain me while we were all holding up the bar, Quiet Man decides to do something he never really did before. He stayed and actually socially interacted with me and his two buddies, Berman and Ricky. He did this, I believe, because those two showed an interest in me. Quiet Man was craking jokes, drinking and could NOT stop touching me, grabbing me, kissing my hands and even at one point got down on his knees to my feet-I can't recall right now why.

Of course, I did not outwardly react, but what I was unable to do was stop the welling of lust when he touched me. I am going to go to hell. The problem is at times, it pounds itself at an alarming rate that I can't even look at him for fear of what I may look like, looking at him-thinking all those things I think about him.

When he reached around to hold onto my waist, I was of course, still as a frightened doe, not wanting to move, but my mind was racing with thought of lunging into his arms, or that he would swing me towards him, pressing me tightly to him and kissing me. That was what I was thinking while I "ignored" his touch throughout the night.

I was unable to rationalize his determination to be near me and touch me.

This problem heightened itself when Quiet Man, pushed himself towards me, to FIX MY DAMNED HAIR, near my face. He did it as if we were long time and ardent lovers-the way he reached towards the side of my face with his fingers to push some loose strands back to the rest of the mop I call hair, behind my shoulder. He was smiling at me while he was doing it as if it were only he and I. When he arranged the strands of hair, he moved back, looking at me, as if to see the results of his handiwork.

In between all the touching, grabbing and kissing, he tells Berman a story about his wife being so good to marry him and that he loves his wife. Berman was apparently dumbfounded and really had nothing to say in return. Berman and Ricky were pretty much like deer in the headlights when not laughing at all the pot shots I was dishing out to Quiet Man to try and detract from his behavior with me.

Once when he grabbed my hand, and I was pulling it away, Ricky chimed in and scolded him that did he not notice that Muse was pulling away from him? Does he not know, using my hand as a demonstration, that to hold my hand, it includes my willingness to keep my hand in his? Quiet Man let him finish and then grabbed my hand back with both of his and kissed the back of my hand.

Quiet Man also chided Ricky at one point in the conversation that he needs to stop talking about cigars with me since that is an inappropriate topic. He should talk to me about better things such as world events or romance. I had to tell Quiet Man that I was the one who expanded on the cigar conversation since I was telling a story about cigar smoking with my ex BF. Quiet Man then made a comment about why was I thinking about ex BF's? I should have said for the same reason, you ARE MARRIED!

Quiet Man also informed Ricky and Berman about all of my virtues-how smart I am ( but threw in he would not say brilliant-WTF?), beautiful, honest, wonderful, how he loved my mother, my brother and had to stop himself from loving the rest of my family because he does not know who they are.

Quiet Man also had to make a point with Berman about how, even though Berman is Fred's best friend, and as proof Berman had on some string on his wrist from Fred's wife, that Quiet Man was his blood, his brother, even though they are not related, and then Quiet Man had to pull out of his wallet a red string he kept in a paper that Fred gave him.

Quiet Man also had to inform Berman about Tigo from the night where I was ''attacked'' by the woman who was propositioning Fred for sex but he turned her down, that Tigo (I guess Berman knew him as well), with his WIFE PRESENT, took one look at Muse and was hitting on her and his eyes were bulging out of his head when he looked at her. AS IF QUIET MAN WAS NOT WORSE THAN TIGO.

Quiet Man was asking Ricky to cook a meal that we could all attend, along with my mother and brother. I was like WTF is he thinking? I made a remark about, yeah invite my family, because Quiet Man, that is your little insurance policy from your true intentions, isn't it? Quite Man's logic was that Ricky was a fantastic cook.

We talked about diamonds for some reason. Quiet Man is looking down at me and keeps asking, what is a man's jewelry? A beautiful woman, I answered dryly to shut him up, and he starts to laugh at my "cleverness". I guess he does poorly with subtlety.

I mean we were all laughing and laughing and actually having fun, mainly because I was just letting him basically do what he wanted and ignored it, just so it would not get serious and then heated.

I also had to deal with Fred and his new match making role, which I think he had all along, starting with Quiet Man.

As I was talking to Berman, Fred asks me what I thought of the man he introduced me to at his party. OMG, as if that was not embarassing enough, I had to answer him. I told him the guy was "OK"-he did not really get it, so I told him, listen, I am not really looking and have been batting a thousand by constantly meeting married men, like HIM I said, pointing out the window to Quiet Man who was on one of his numerous chain smoking breaks. So Fred turns around and points to Berman and said, he's not married. Great. There was Berman smiling from ear to ear.

Poor Berman, had asked for my number, so I gave him my business card. I did not want to be mean, but I sure as hell did not want to lead him on; Ricky piped up and wanted a card as well. I did not have anymore. Quiet Man tells Ricky, he will give him one, and I commented, yes, because you have so many of my cards in your little stack in your office. So Ricky is told by Quiet Man, that since I, Muse, gave him permission to give him my card, he would, tomorrow.

I left that night without saying goodbye to Quiet Man, leaving when he went to see Fred for a second, but I did say goodbye to Berman and Ricky.

There is a cocktail party next week, thrown by a mutual friend, that they told me they were going to attend. I told them I was not sure if I was going because it was only for an hour and a half. Quiet Man tells me, he will be able to figure out something to so after that.

I spoke to Fred tonight to find out the exact day for the cocktail party since I threw out the invitation by mistake. He told me he had to go to another party after the cocktail event. So that, well at this point, solidifies I should not even leave my house, for fear of going to hell for attending a cocktail party for 1.5 hours, only for the object of why I was going, had to go somewhere else afterwards. If Fred had party number two to attend, all three, Quiet Man, Ricky and Berman would have to go as well. And, that being that, its a good thing, to avoid hell.

I have NEVER ever found myself in this position. Being so attracted to a man who I thought was single for months and months and months, and not being able to be un-attracted after I find out he is married. I don't think I would ever have an affair with him, because I don't believe in that, but I am finding out, that when it's in your face, and not having met anyone in my life that I have had such a magnetic and strong sexual attraction, that is why I hope I won't be going to hell, for doing something I have no business doing.

I cannot not avoid him very well, since my family does not know why I need to avoid him and they never will from me. So, I have to act nonchalant and deal with him when our paths cross.

But at that last party, I was shocked at my reaction to his interaction with me. The feeling of unadulterated lust that I had felt the day I went to see him at his office, was intensified and underscored.

I believe Ricky and Berman saw the attraction existed between us, but maybe not since Berman asked for my phone number, so I hope that I was unscathed, but I don't think Quiet Man will be able to deny his actions to them. Well, he could, because he is a man, but I don't think he is really like that-a womanizer. I think he is immensely attracted to me and probably has a hard time dealing with it and the demons that visit him, being married and all.

Fred is at heart a sweetheart. I should appreciate his concern for wanting to play match maker with me. But then again once Quiet Man said Fred likes me, but I don't really think so. And Fred speaks highly of Quiet Man and it's true that he is a good, good person.

Oh, these adult issues I have thus far completely avoided in my life have now arrived. It sucks.

A Damned Fat Cat

As I was blog surfing on Blogger, or attempting to, despite porn sites galore [and I thought the Bestest Blog Ever was bad] I stumbled upon Fat Cat with her side kick Pigassus.

It is a hilarious read about weight loss, which most of us can relate to whether at present or as a distant memory.

They have such similar writing styles that the blog just flows seamlessly from one poster to the other.

I had to read it backwards, from current post to the last, so I was getting myself mixed up a bit, but it was a great read. I wish Blogger would have an option to read blogs in the order the posts where written, without missing any entry.

Its nice to read a blog that is well written, imaginative and so descriptive, without constantly having to be reminded that the poster wishes they would be miraculously discovered by the book literati roaming the internet or whining about why, why, why they have not been yet discovered and launched into instant literary fame and selling like 10 million books.

Fat Cat and Pigassus deal with more pressing matters such as the Monday morning weigh ins and their damned lying scales. Both Analog and Digital.