Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Friendship, Quiet Man?

After hanging out with Quiet Man that long night, the next time I saw him was when he pulled up surreptitiously into a parking spot and went into Fred’s store. I was on my way to get some coffee and was further into the parking lot, walking towards the stores.

I don’t know if he saw me, but if he did or did not, he continued on and went straight into Fred’s store. I saw him from behind, walking, because I was looking at something else. So if he saw me, he just continued on. If he did not see me, he continued on. Not any difference.

I had spoken to Quiet Man on the phone about something and told him about my Mother’s Memorial Mass. He thanked me for telling him and mentioned that Fred did not say anything. Weird.

At the end of the Mass, I saw Quiet Man and Fred on line to go past the vault that was in front of the altar. I was very happy to see them out of all the throngs of people that came to say goodbye to my Mother. I embraced and kissed each of them.

Fred and Quiet Man did not attend the reception we had after the Mass. The generosity of friends left us with so much food that we were scrambling to find a home for it all. I had made two platters of cookies. No one wanted them, so I decided to give one to Fred for his children and another for Quiet Man for his office or his family, whichever.

I walked into Fred's store and he came out. I plopped onto the counter the trays. Just then he had to help a customer. Then much to my surprise, Quiet Man came out to see me.

“Hello Muse,” he said with his rolling accented English. My real name has an R in it and his accent is deep, guttural and rolls the R’s in the same manner.

“Hi Quiet Man,” I said. He was leaning over looking and me and I just looked back.

I asked him why they did not come to the reception, and he said because a mutual friend was in the Hospital and they went to go and see him. I was shocked to hear about this friend. I figured Fred wanted to get back to his store and Quiet Man had to oblige. No worries, I told him. As I was questioning him about the condition of this friend, he stopped talking because two women customers where hovering around us.

“Well, whisper it to me,” I encouraged.

He would not, he just kept watching the women and acting frustrated they were in the vicinity.

“Well, we can always go into the back, if I am permitted back there,” I chided. Fred had something in the back of his store, and I was never asked to go back there. He and Quiet Man loved being in the back.

Quiet Man agreed and motioned me around the counter and ushered me into the bleak grayness of the back rooms.

It was nothing at all. Fred had a simple office back there. Quiet Man sits in front of Fred’s desk and motioned me to sit next to him.

We sat there and chatted and laughed at all the stupid things said between us. Fred then joins us. It was weird. I think Fred was tired or something like that.

Eventually Fred talks about the party he went to the night before. He starts to tell me things and Quiet Man interrupts him.

“Now, Freddy,” as he calls Fred,” tell her what happened.”

Then Fred tells me something else and continues on about this boring event.

We go through this scenario about two more times. Then Quiet Man interrupts for a fourth time.

“Freddy, you tell Muse what really happened,” he emphasized.

Fred breaks into a smile.

Quiet Man ends up telling me. Fred met another potential girlfriend. Was I relieved. She was supposedly, and I say supposedly, a Nicole Kidman lookalike, with three kids. Right up Fred’s alley.

Fred looks a little embarrassed and then very confident about this woman. I could not catch exactly what the truth was.

Quiet Man continues on with how this senior citizen who uses a cane to walk, tried to move in on Fred’s conversation with the Nicole K. lookalike. Quiet Man said she would not give it up, trying to get Fred’s attention. I was howling with laughter about Fred’s big attempt to score with this woman while trying to fend off an old washer woman with a cane. I looked at Fred, who was trying not to laugh and was rolling his eyes.

Then Quiet Man became Mr. Future. He proceeds to tell me that, wait Muse, you shall see, that a local young and “handsome” politician has an interest in me. I say “handsome” because he is not my type but the girls fall all over him. He is very good looking but I know this person and I definitely have not any interest in him. He has a girlfriend who he uses, that looks like a bobble head and maybe comes up to his shoulder.

Why thank you Quiet Man, for thinking of me, was what was rolling around in my head.

Quiet Man, then to justify what he just said, goads Fred into a verification process that a code cracker would have a problem unraveling.

“Oh, yes Muse, Quiet Man is right. The Politician is interested in you, he is,” said Fred.

“What? Are you two crazy? I think you both are crazy!”

“No,” said Quiet Man slowly, “ we are not crazy. It’s 100% Muse, you will see.”

Who can argue with these two or with those odds? 100% my ass.

I then find out that the Politician and his bobble head were asking Fred at a previous dinner about one or two months prior, I believe, if I was Fred’s girlfriend.

“WHAT!” I screamed out, “WHY would he say that? What did you tell him?”

“Nothing, Muse, nothing,” replied Quiet Man, ”but it’s true what I am telling you.”

“I did not answer him, Muse,” said Fred as if that would end the matter with the Politician or myself.

If you did not answer him, Fred, you idiot, then you are confirming it, was what my mind was telling me to scream at him. I did not.

I don’t care about the Politician and I did not care why he was asking Fred if I was his girlfriend. I really cannot believe that Fred was asked that. I guess his Leo pride could not pass it up.

Fred then began to call people and do his wheeling dealing, while Quiet Man could not keep very quiet, whispering loudly what Fred should tell these people in New York City, where he was dealing. Fred had them on speaker phone and it was ridiculously funny. How these people did not know others were listening in due to Quiet Man’s loud whispering and Fred’s answering him in non-whispers I do not know. When Fred or Quiet Man did not like what the other person was saying, they motioned a hand job; if they were getting sick of listening to the person, they threw their hands up into the air. When the person offered a lower price, Fred refused, making some weird marks on his lists and then ending the conversation. Quiet Man then would bet on how fast the person would call back and order at full price. He was right many a time.

After a while, Quiet Man and I got up to leave Fred to his own devices with his phone calls. We walked out into the store and they discuss who would get what platter. Quiet Man took the biggest one, while Fred the smaller, but with more variety of cookies. I laughed watching them negotiate the cookies.

As we were walking out, the man who insures Fred’s cars walks in and Quiet Man lags behind to say hello. I said my goodbye’s and went to my car. As I was driving out of the parking lot, I see Quiet Man, bending over into the trunk of his James Bond BMW roadster, carefully placing the large tray of cookies into the car. I stopped to joke around with him. We chatted so much, I was holding up traffic so I pulled into the space next to him. He came to my car window to chat. We joked around and laughed some more.

We then said our goodbyes and I went to meet my two brothers, sister in law and friends who were at a local watering hole to pass away the time and remember my Mother.

The next week, Fred and Quiet Man were to have a holiday party at the garage where all the expensive cars are stored.


The Charming Hedonist said...

I find this Fred-Quiet Man dynamic somewhat disturbing. But I'm hooked.

Glamourpuss said...

I do hope you are bearing up, pet. I worry.


David said...

I worry too, but then I am a dumb man. And I too am becoming hooked.

Gucci Muse said...

Charming-imagine how I feel!

Puss-thank you, friend-I am trying not to worry about myself, but I do think about you and what you are going through in general-even when your post are upbeat.

David-dumb men don't know to worry and a worrier you are not- and hooked, eh? I will take that as a compliment, thank you.