Party a Go-Go, Quiet Man

Fred’s party was supposed to be on December 1. Quiet Man told me he changed it to December 8. Hmm, I thought, he did not tell me.

Maybe, about, I would say, a few days prior to December 1, my cell rings with Fred’s number displaying.

“Hi Fred,” I said as sweetly as I could, because that is how Fred is-you need to be upbeat with him.

“Muse,” I heard Quiet Man say to me, rolling the R in my name like a cigar being rolled between the thighs of some native lady, “it is Quiet Man.”

“Oh hi Quiet Man,” I said just as sweetly.

“Hi. Ah, Muse, we have two questions. Can you help us?”

“Sure Quiet Man, what is it?” I replied wondering why I was getting this weird phone call.

“When is Mass for your mother?”

“It is Friday. November 30,” I told him, wondering why he asked when I had just told him not too long ago.

“Oh. Ok. Ah, Muse, what you think?” he started, ”about our party,” rolling that R again.

“Your party?”

“Ah, eh. Muse, we thinking of doing something. With the cars, Muse,” he started.

“Do you mean what Fred was telling me before?” I told him.

The week prior Fred was telling me about his party. He told me I was the first person invited. I made a big deal about it, joking around, and we reached over the counter in his store and hugged each other, laughing.

Fred wanted to have women in bikinis to sit around the cars. This party was to promote his antique and luxury cars. I started to laugh about the poor girls in December in bikinis having to lay around those dopey cars. I told him, well if you can’t find any girls to do that, don’t worry, just go and hire the girls at the go-go club, I am sure they will oblige.

If you can see Fred talk about girls, it would be funny. He opens up his eyes and then they squint in laughter. When he laughs, he always takes a step backwards and then kind of sways side to side. Usually with his right hand in his pocket and his left free, to the side.

“Oh, sweetheart, you know it, you know it,” he said, mulling around in his mind the thought of those go-go dancers prancing about on the hoods of all his cars, or him.

I hear Fred in the background blabbing at Quiet Man, probably directing him to say something he was not saying.

“Yes, Muse, what you think?”

“About what?”

“Girls,” he said.

Quiet Man says the word girl in a distinct manner. Giurrrl, is the best I can phonetically spell it.

“Quiet Man, are you asking me if you should have a gentleman’s party, with cigars, hard liquor and go –go girls?”

“Ah, yes,” he said, “what you think, Muse?”

OMG. I started laughing. I could not believe they were calling me asking me about semi nude women hired to lay around on cars.

“Well, why not, if that is what you want. I bet you will sell a lot of cars.”

“See Freddy, Muse thinks so,” said Quiet Man, talking to Fred.

Fred then grabs the phone from Quiet Man.

“Muse,” he said, in the sing songy way he says my real name, “You think it’s a good idea to have the girls?”

“If that is what you want. You know I don’t care.”

I paused and continued, “Well what kind of party do you think you are having?”

Fred went on to explain that he printed the invitations and called it a Christmas party.

You have got to be kidding me. A Christmas party?

“Fred, listen, what are you asking me? You want the girls or not? And, if you do, you better change your invitations, because that is not a Christmas party. If you send these men an invitation, and they are going to bring their wives, and it says Christmas Party, what do you think will happen?”

“You are right, Muse, yes,” Fred pondered.

“If you want to sell cars, then just tell the men by word of mouth what kind of party you are throwing, they will come and without the wives. What do you think Mrs. Wrong would think about that? She does not even know Mr. Wrong loves the go-go clubs.”

I hear Fred and Quiet Man chatter on about the girls and the party.

“Change the invitations then if you want the girls. Did you pay a lot for them?” I asked him. I also could not believe he prints up invitations for a party that he is having in less than a week.

“No, no, price does not matter Muse,” he said about the invites, “You see, the business, we want to promote, and the girls, you know Muse,” he says and starts to laugh.

I hear Quiet Man and Fred begin a conversation amongst themselves.

“Freddy, Muse is right, the girls sell the cars.”

“No, no, Quiet Man, we have to think about these things. But the girls, I would like to have the girls,” says Fred.

“If the object of why you are having this party, is to have girls to sell cars, then you can’t invite wives. You can’t have an invitation about a girly party either, so forget about that as well,” I offered.

Quiet Man and Fred went back to their own wacky world where they interact so interestingly. Quiet Man was debating about the proper way to have a party to promote the cars and have girls at the same time. He was viewing it in a business like manner, more like a gentleman’s club-no women allowed. Fred was debating promoting the cars with the girls and having a good time about it, because in his mind, a good time means good profit. Ugh.

Fred gets back on the phone and states, ”OK, Muse, I will take it from here!” and gets off the line.

The day of my Mom’s Memorial Mass, Fred handed me my invitation. It said Christmas Party.

About two days prior to his party, I see Fred in his store about something, I had to run.

He tells me, “Muse, bring a date if you want.”

A date? That is what he said.

The next day I had time to think about what he told me. I went back into the store and asked him if his wife was coming to the party.

“Yes,” he said.

I asked if that is why he told me I could bring a date?

“No, No, Muse,” he said.

“Is your wife going to give me problem about the night you almost got arrested?”

“Oh, No, Muse.” he said.

“If she does, I won’t go then.”

“No, Muse, you come. My wife will not bother you. You will see. I will be there,” he replied.

“Well I don’t know,” I said, thinking it would have been better if it was a go go party.

“Muse, you come; you come, Muse. Don’t worry,” he said.

“OK,” I decided. So the wives where coming. Eww, was what I thought. Mrs. Quiet Man. This was going to be interesting.